Sorry if you tried contacting me earlier. I was taking a nice long nap! 

Tuesday afternoon I had made the decision not to go through with the Version process. I wasn’t comfortable with it all and decided I shouldn’t do it. So I called to cancel it and set up an appt. with my actual OB. (I’ve been seeing a midwife my entire pregnancy) Well I got woke up this morning from her office calling me saying that I needed to come in at 10:50 this morning cause that is her only available appt. and she will be on vacation next week. 

So on the way there I cough, and of course pee comes out so I had a nice wet spot on my jeans! Niiiiice. Anyways I get there and start talking with her and she had me tell her the reasons I was anti-version and then she starts talking to me about the c-section and all of the possible things that could happen during surgery.   Which most I were aware of. At the end she says that its going to be creating scar tissue in my stomach too. Well thats when I tell her about my surgery I’ve had before. That pretty much changed everything.  Her face dropped when I showed her my stomach.  Because I’ve had a major abdominal surgery in the past there *could* be quite a bit of scar tissue already in there. Unfortunately for me the only way you can tell how much scar tissue a person has is to open them and see. So then she tells me that I stand a 3X stronger risk of anything going awry during surgery than a “regular” person. And that she strongly, strongly recommends me doing the version to avoid surgery cause I am a bad candidate for a c-section.  Then she reminds me that having a c-sec is only going to add to the scar tissue I already have and pretty much just add to the mess I already got goin’ on in there. So I pretty much took that as *IF* I have to have a c-sec this time around that It might not be a good idea, risk wise to have another baby because I might have to have that baby c-sec as well.  She said that she wasn’t going to say that and we could cross that bridge later on.  She did do another ultrasound on me and said that my AF was good today and took drink a ton of water until my version appt. next Wednesday and to eat a very light breakfast.  The only happy part of the entire trip was that during the ultrasound we saw his lungs and he was doing breathing exercises, where he is practicing breathing with his AF.  She said that is THE best possible thing you can see on an ultrasound and that I have a very happy baby inside of me. So that did make me happy to see.

I left there crying today. I’ve never left the doctors crying like that before. I just feel totally fucked! I have anxiety about the version and it’s limited success rate, and am scared shit-less now that I am a bad candidate for surgery. That is some scary stuff.  I seriously have had a perfect pregnancy until now. I’m also pissed that my scar tissue has never been brought up my entire pregnancy until today. Never! I never asked any questions about it either, assuming if there could be complications they wouldv’e frickin’ told me! Not drop a bomb on me at 9+ months like this.  So I’m just sad about it all and scared and want my hubs but of course he won’t be home until tomorrow. HOPEFULLY EARLY!  So there’s the update as of now. 

I have my version next Wednesday at 1pm. So Please pray that it works! AND if you don’t pray send good thoughts our way!!!!