Best Friends Forever. I know what that is. Literally.

 

Out of my almost 27 years of existence I’ve been friends with Ryan for almost 25 of them. Crazy right?!

 

I think so. 

 

I don’t see him enough. We all are busy. Not a good excuse, we need to hang out more. I miss him. Sometimes I don’t realize how much I miss him until I’m in his severely goofy, overly chatty presence. You see, he never stops talking. But I love that about him.

 

We grew up on the same street, My first memories ever are with him. He made me do boy stuff all the time growing up, but he was a good sport and sometimes would even play barbies or dress up with me too.  We were fixtures of each other’s homes & lives.  Also? My Brother and his Sister were high school sweet hearts & married 16(i think?) years ago. We were even in their wedding together.

 

We are family. Which is awesome. Our families are literally one now, and have been for some time. We often intermingle on Holidays & Birthdays & it’s always so comfortable. I think of his family as my own. I really do. I think of him as my third Brother, & his sister? Well she’s my sister too.

 

He got married yesterday to a wonderful lady named Danielle. Ryan also became an official second Dad yesterday to her three boys that he loves insane amounts.  Out of everyone I know Ryan is the most stand up guy (besides my brother). He’s a “good guy” in every sense of it.  Nice guys finish last is often true, & has sadly been true for him a few times.  Not this time though. He was so happy yesterday dancing at his reception with his Wife. It made me really happy.   I was really quiet yesterday. It’s because I was kinda emotional & feared that if I spoke too much I’d burst into tears in front of everyone.

 

His Step-Mom was toasting him & his wife at the reception & she was saying that she entered Ryan’s life 19 years ago. I zoned out on everything else she said after that. I was fixated on that number….19. I couldn’t believe that it had been 19 years.  That seems so long ago. But, I remember clearly when she and her 2 daughters came into their lives. (also, those 2 girls are part of my life too. I love them so much. Again, we’re like a big huge family) I just sat their & looked around at everyone, I knew so many of them & felt so comfortable there with everyone. I reminisced with Ryan’s Grandma, Connie about a few funny stories from our childhood & realized that this just isn’t the norm. We are really lucky. I am really lucky that I have this huge, wonderful extended family. That I’ve had it for a really long time & will always have this great connection with a group of people that aren’t “blood” related. That when they ask how my own little family is they aren’t just making small talk, that they genuinely care.  I felt very grateful on our long drive home last night.

 

I’m happy I got to spend time with everyone yesterday & celebrate a happy, happy day for Ryan and Danielle.

 

xoxox

 

 

 

and this is completely random but I will always think of Ryan when I hear this ridiculous song. We were super young, spending the weekend at My Brother’s & his Sister’s duplex back in the day & we tried our hardest to choreograph a dance to this song!

one

My best friends wedding was on Saturday. Boy oh boy, what a BEAUTIFUL time it was. I seriously had a great time. I think I was more of a stress case than the Bride was all day, typical really.  Everything was perfect. I mean, aside from a few minor things not going exactly as planned, but no one except a few of the bridal party noticing is a major wedding day win.

I was so emotional about Terra’s wedding.  I’ve been friends with her for almost 11 years now & have watched her grow up. She’s always been responsible but I’ve just watched her grow into a strong Mother & Woman. I was so happy to see her finally meet the one. She didn’t have the easiest path at finding him. As cliche as it sounds, she had to kiss a few frogs before she met her Prince & even then I think it took her a while to let him become the Prince that she was needing.  He loves her & her son, Mason so much & that’s so important to me. That he loves both of them. They are going to be a beautiful little family & hopefully in the near future add to that family!

 

The wedding day really was the Brides dream wedding. It was stunning from the bouquets, to the table center pieces, to the food, it was all just wonderful. I sat back from the head table that was kinda over looking the entire reception & thought to myself  “how gorgeous is this…everything is so beautiful”. It really was. I was beyond happy to be so involved in their special day.

A few pictures from the day:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So much fun! Now the couple are on a plane on their way to Hawaii. I’m only slightly jealous.

5 com

But I’m not sure I believe you….

Long weekends make me a bit weird the entire following week. I always feel like I’m a day off. Which I am.

My weekend was exhausting but worth it! Santa Cruz was a lot of fun. Got together with the most hilarious group of girls I know & celebrated all weekend. I’ll tell you one thing, drinking elevates emotions. Friday night I was SO sad about not being with Milo that I cried & went to bed early. I also learned that I am in fact NOT 21 anymore. Drinking two nights in a row seemed to prove impossible for me. I had wild ideas that I’d drink ALL weekend long, ha…HAHAHA. Yeah right. By 11pm Saturday night I was almost falling asleep at one of the bars we were at! Anyways, It was a great trip. The house we stayed at was gorgeous. Literally on the beach, the most amazing view ever! We lucked out with getting it on a holiday weekend. Surprisingly no real dramas between a group of 12 girls either, which I was a bit worried about. I don’t think anyone walked away from the trip hating each-other! And of course the beautiful Bride to be had an AWESOME time. Success!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday I was beyond ecstatic to get home to my boys, especially Milo. He looked huge like he had grown 2 ft in the two days I was gone! I have no plans of leaving him for days at a time like that  for a real long time. I’m such a family person. I know time apart is probably healthy for us all but I just have zero interest in it really. I’m a Mom & Wife now, & it’s my favorite thing. I only want to go places that all of us can go for a while.

Milo has been extra adorable & extra crazy the past two days, I say it’s a possibility that two year molars are trying to make an appearance, but I could be wrong. He passed the buck last night for the first time every & it was so funny I couldn’t even get mad. I noticed that someone had doodled all over the oven door yesterday with chalk. I asked him if it was him (who else could it be?). Well, I was wrong. According to Milo it was Rocky(our dog) who chalked all over the oven door. It made me laugh so much. So Silly he’s becoming.

I do believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I always love & get along with Mercer but it’s been extra nice being home with him the past few days. I missed him too!

Now, today on this supposed Wednesday I’m just starting to get back into my routine. My biggest goal today; healthy eating. For the past 5 days I’ve eaten absolutely anything in sight it seems. Nothing healthy what-so-ever & I don’t feel that good. I just had fruit with greek yogurt for breakfast & plan on a salad for lunch with a huge portion of veggies for dinner! Hopefully squeeze in some exercise this afternoon too!

 

I hope you all had a nice long weekend!

one

Since I found out I was pregnant with Milo, roughly 2 years & 9 months ago I have been on a journey of self improvement.  I knew that I needed to start making some real changes in my life to be the type of Mother I wanted my child to have.

 

I wasn’t always the nicest person.  I mean, I didn’t just walk around being a general asshole but, I never bit my tongue. If I thought something (negative or positive) you & everyone else knew it.  I told you exactly what was on my mind.  I was extremely judgmental, and that attitude of well if you don’t like me you can go eff yourself.  I still do have that eff yourself attitude a bit. I can’t help who doesn’t like me.  I can guarantee if you knew me, really knew me as the person I am today you’d like me. I can not help any false impressions people may have of me. I do feel like a lot of people have a false impression of me lately, for whatever reasons. But, again all I can do is continue to be the person that makes me happy, and I am really happy.

 

Finally 2 & three quarter years later I am genuinely happy with the person I am. The life I live, & the people I surround myself with.  This weekend was a turning point in that realization. I was pulling Milo & our dog & Cookie Monster in Milo’s new wagon, while my husband rode his bike next to us & was just overwhelmed with happiness.  I kept feeling the need to just randomly blurt out,

“I’m so happy”

“life is really good”

“I’m so Happy”

Repeat over and over again.

 

I was coming down from a super happy high of Milo’s Birthday BBQ we celebrated Saturday afternoon. That day was just amazingly perfect & I will dedicate a post to it this week.  Being surrounded with family & close friends all celebrating Milo & seeing how much each of those people genuinely love this child of mine made my heart just about explode at the seams.

 

I’ve learned how to make myself genuinely happy, & not to define my happiness by “stuff”. Or “things” we buy with money.  Spending $400 on Gucci sunglasses used to make me really happy, or a $200 dress.  But, it was never real happiness like I experience now.  What a difference it truly is.  I feel like Milo has brought me to this place & I couldn’t be more grateful.  To not define happiness by stuff or how much $$$ is in the bank is an amazing feeling.  (don’t get me wrong, I still like pretty things but my happiness is definitely not defined by those things like it sadly once was)

 

I’m happy & confident in the Mother that I am.  With each day that passes I know more & more that having Milo when we did was the best decision we have ever made.  The first year was rough, & a major transition but we made it, & here we are already celebrating another year past.

 

I’m in love with My husband so much, & the Father he is to my son. He truly is the Father I dreamed up in my head of my future children having, years ago.  He’s everything I always wanted my own Father to be, but never was.  He is head over heels in love with Milo & every single thing Milo does. Milo can punch him in the face & He would say something like ” yeah it hurt, but did you see how cute his little fist was when he was doing it…..” You know, just true love.  He works extremely hard to provide us with the necessities we need, and to make Milo happy. I never have had to battle him over changing a diaper, or making Milo’s lunch, or giving him a bath or anything. We are each other’s biggest parenting cheer leaders, we are quick to remind each other of what a good parent one & other are & I think that’s needed some times.  Mercer can be oblivious to a lot of things I do but, he never has a blind eye to the job I’m doing as a Mother, & that speaks volumes to me.

 

Our Marriage is in a really good place. That makes me happy.

 

I Love my friends dearly & am working towards being a more present friend.

 

I’m getting along with all my siblings at the same time. This is a big deal to me.

 

My Mom is here. She gets to see Milo a few times a week & it makes me so happy that Milo has two Grandmas that love & adore him the way that My Grandmothers did with me (& all of their grandchildren) I had an unexplanable relationship with My Grandma Mariam (in the best way possible, her & I were meant to be in each others lives) & am so happy that Milo will get to have some serious Grandma love as he grows up. Grandmas were a big part of my happiness in my younger years & I have so many fond Memories of those times.

 

I’m 8-10 pounds heavier than I was before I was pregnant & feel prettier & more confident than I have ever.

 

 

Over all , the above things combined make this girl over the moon, heart bursting, rainbow farting HAPPY!

 

It feels really good!

12 com