By now I’m sure if you know who Steve Jobs is (get real, who doesn’t?!) then you know he’s passed away.  I’m surprised at how much sadness is looming over my Husband and I with hearing that news.

We have always appreciated cutting edge technology. Maybe because technology being part of our every day lives is how we’ve grown up. But, we appreciate it.

I never knew how much I needed an iPod until I randomly got one 7 years ago for Christmas. I got choked up when I opened it. I remember going to the bathroom almost immediately after I opened it in my (then boyfriend’s, now husband’s) parent’s living room. I didn’t want them to see that side of me….yet. But I was so overjoyed. I couldn’t believe I had this awesome thing in MY POSSESSION. It was mine. Mercer helped me figure it out & got every single song I loved loaded on to it. I fell asleep at night listening to Atmosphere & No Doubt, almost nightly. I remember distinctly walking into the gym with my iPod attached to my arm feeling like I was the SHIT! You had a cd player- You LAME!

When my Husband got his first iPhone he was obsessed. Again, I had a Blackberry & was perfectly content with it, I didn’t need an iPhone I said repeatedly to my Husband who tried often to convert me. Until the opportunity for a free iPhone presented itself. For someone who didn’t “need” it I sure did jump on that opportunity faster than my dog scarfs down a piece of fallen food to the kitchen floor. I was instantly enamored & couldn’t believe how much easier my iPhone made my life, & still continues to do so to this day. You should see the panic that takes over me when I can’t find my phone. I know that makes me sound kinda lame, I don’t care though. That piece of Apple helps me out through each day. It stores videos & pictures of my sweet family & friends, it helps me connect with my friends, family, & Internet friends daily, helps me find recipes for dinner, I can read a book on it while relaxing, check my favorite blogs, etc.  I try often to get friends to convert to an iPhone. You just don’t get it til you have one. 

We just really appreciate what this guy’s creativity has done for the world. So you don’t own an Apple product? Chances are you depend on a computer though. Your computer is as great as it is because whomever made it is trying to keep up with what Apple has already done. All these smart phones & their “app stores”. Your app store will never be the Apple App Store. It just won’t. I have no doubt that Apple will continue to create cutting edge, irreplaceable products. They seem to have the formula down now. I just think what could have been with the continued creativity that Jobs compelled. 56 is far too early to go.

He had a vision. He never strayed from it. That’s something to be admired. I admire what he’s done for the world & I admire his amazing outlook on life.

I did a lot of quiet thinking last night. About life, death, & all the in between. I try to live each day as happily as I can, I try not to dwell on things.  I try not to let others opinion sway the person I AM. But, I’d be lying if I said it sometimes doesn’t go that way. Some days I do dwell on things. Some days I do let people get me down. But yesterday was a reminder to do what I can to not let that happen too often. To not let someone’s opinion of me sway the person that I want to be, the things I want to achieve. Awesome isn’t created by laying in bed all day being mad at the world. Awesome isn’t created by letting other peoples doubts of you stand in the way of your visions. I think we all have the power to do amazing things.

Thank You Steve, For all that you’ve done, & the way you’ve touched so many lives.

Image Via: www.apple.com

The news has reported that they have finally pulled a body from the canal that matches poor baby Juliani Cardenas description.  The 4 year old little boy that was abducted by his Mother’s disgruntled ex-boyfriend.  The car was found in the canal a few days ago.

When I read that the body was discovered I got the chills and began to sob.  I’m still crying as I read this.  The news really doesn’t usually affect me.  I don’t know… I am kind of a “cold” person.  But, this?  This has gotten to my core.  I can not stop crying.  I’m sick to my stomach over it.  I keep looking at Milo and hugging him and crying and crying.

This little boys poor Mother.  His Mother is 8+months pregnant with the abductor’s child.  Talk about the cherry on top.  The man who killed her baby….Now? She will give birth to a new baby and have to be reminded of all of these events, of losing her first born. EVERY. single. time. she stares at that newborn.  Can you imagine the pain? The hate? I feel so sorry for that new baby that’s on the way.

I’m so just absolutely devastated over this.  I really had high hopes that this piece of crap human just dumped the car there and took off with little Juliani some where.  I didn’t think it would end this way.

I have his Mother in my heart today.  As well  Juliani.  Please keep this family in your thoughts.

Here is a little more about the story.

A few weeks ago Mercer (after a lot of convincing) and I decided that we were going to take a vacation at the end of the year. We’ve never been on a real vacation together, and I’ve never been on one, period. Well out of the country at least. So this is a birthday trip for me -slash- little honeymoon, since we never took one after getting married. While I’m seriously excited, I also have terrible anxiety over it.

We decided on Puerto Rico. It was between there and Mexico. The drug ring/war stuff going on down there scared us so we decided not to go there like we were originally planning. Bonuses of going to Puerto Rico are: No passports required, and they are very US friendly, and uses US currency.

Now here is where my multi-faceted anxiety comes in:

• Where to stay? Do we want to stay in the main tourist area, San Juan, or do we want to venture down somewhere else like, Fajardo. We do not want to rent a car while there and heard it’s a good idea to do if you stay in Fajardo.  But, we aren’t looking to do much while there, eat, drink, beach, repeat.  The main reason I want to stay down there is because I’d like to take a day trip to Flemenco Beach. It’s supposed to be one of the best beaches in the world according to the Discovery Channel.  If we stayed in San Juan we most likely would never see Flemenco Beach and would probably end up spending less money.
• Next major anxiety?  Leaving My child for 5 days.  This is killing me. To the point where I keep contemplating the trip all together. My fears are insane. I’m insane. I fear things like an Tsunami will hit, kill us, MJ has no parents now.  Or I fear that something will happen to him and I won’t be able to get an immediate flight out of PR to get back to the states.  Last fear, that he will think we’ve abandoned him.  =(
• Then I have the added little things like finding a house sitter and some one to take care of the dog for 5 days.

So, I have a lot to figure out and get over. I’m determined not to let my anxiety win. We deserve a vacation, baby free.  We will see how it goes.  I just need to book our airfare ASAP then I will GO. I’ll have to go.

Really, How can I let myself miss out on this beach?

November 24th is my 25th Birthday. My Husband is taking me to Los Angeles to celebrate. We are going to The Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary exhibit called Three Apples. I’m a MAJOR Hello Kitty fan, so obviously I’m super excited about this trip.  Now enter dilemma:

To take Milo or leave him at home with family for the weekend. We’ve had several offers from family to take care of him for the weekend. At first it wasn’t even a question. We’d obviously be taking him with us for the weekend. But, the more I’ve been thinking about and talking to Mercer about it all I just don’t know. . . The drive for one concerns me. It’s usually around 6 hours. Milo really needs entertainment now and I honestly don’t know how he will do on  a 6 hour car ride there and back all in a weekend. Also, Mercer and I could desperately use some time alone together. We didn’t even celebrate our anniversary this year because we were so busy. It would be nice to have a weekend alone with him, and he was actually the one to bring that up.

Here’s my issue with leaving him for the weekend. I’m with him ALL of the time. Milo doesn’t go to daycare or anything like that and we rarely go out and leave him with anyone. We seriously take him everywhere with us. He’s so used to me, and I really regret that I haven’t left him more often with family so he gets used to them more. I’m scared that A.) he will think that I have abandoned him and be heartbroken and B.) Just be so absolutely upset all weekend and cry and be really unmanageable for whoever takes care of him. C.) Something happens to him and he has to go to the hospital and I’m stuck 6 hours away and there are no immediate flights from LAX to SMF. I tend to over analyze everything. D.) And finally I’m scared that I will miss him a ridiculous amount resulting in me having a shitty time on our vacation.

I really don’t know what to do.

Any suggestions and opinions are welcomed!